At some point in a relationship, many people experience a nagging suspicion that their partner may be cheating—especially when behavior changes or emotional distance starts to grow.
While most relationships naturally go through highs and lows, periods of insecurity and doubt can still be unsettling. According to veteran private investigator Ray Ranno, however, there are certain patterns that often appear when infidelity is involved.
Ranno, a Connecticut-based investigator, has spent years following suspected cheaters and says there’s one behavior he frequently notices in men before they meet the person they’re cheating with: they clean their car.
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| Ray Ranno/ YouTube |
Having worked with hundreds of attorneys, insurance companies, universities, police departments, and private clients, Ranno claims to have caught thousands of unfaithful spouses. On his website, he explains that his job is to discreetly uncover evidence so clients can make informed decisions about their future.
Speaking on host Ian Bick’s podcast, Ranno noted that men often wash and tidy their cars before meeting a mistress.
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“As soon as somebody goes to the car wash, I think, ‘What’s next?’” he said. “It happens all the time. Women don’t do it as much because they usually get into the guy’s car—men almost always want to drive. It’s rare to see a man get into a woman’s car.”
Ranno also described the discreet techniques he uses during surveillance, including a coffee cup fitted with a hidden HD camera.
“If I’m in a coffee shop or a supermarket, I take the lid off, turn it on, put the cap back on, and it looks like I’m just carrying a coffee,” he explained. “Meanwhile, I’m recording everything.”
While this is just one possible sign—and not limited to men—investigators say there are several other behaviors that can raise red flags in any relationship.
According to experts at UK Private Investigators, a sudden change in household habits can be telling. For example, if a partner who previously showed little interest in laundry suddenly insists on washing their own clothes, it may be cause for concern.
“They may be worried about perfume, lipstick marks, or stray hairs on their clothing,” the experts explain. “Doing their own laundry allows them to hide these signs without their partner noticing.”
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Mileage can also offer subtle clues. A noticeable increase that doesn’t align with work, gym visits, or usual routines could suggest secret trips to meet someone else. On the flip side, unusually low mileage might indicate involvement with someone who lives nearby.
Another common warning sign is a sudden shift in privacy. If a partner who once freely shared their phone or devices suddenly changes passwords, locks apps, or logs out of shared computers, it could raise questions.
“New passwords, locked apps, or increased secrecy around devices may suggest your partner is hiding something,” investigators say.
Unexplained spending is another potential indicator. Large purchases or cash withdrawals—especially when there’s no birthday, anniversary, or special occasion—can sometimes signal infidelity.
“People having affairs often spend more money than usual,” experts note. “This can include dinners, gifts, hotel rooms, or transportation.”
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| Pexels/ For illustrative purposes only |
Finally, a dramatic and unexplained change in appearance may also be worth noting. New clothes, a different hairstyle, or a sudden increase in gym visits can sometimes be linked to trying to impress someone new.
“Self-improvement isn’t suspicious on its own,” one expert explains. “But it can become a red flag if your partner doesn’t share their motivation, seek your opinion, or show interest in your attention after making these changes.”
If you’re feeling uneasy in your relationship, paying closer attention to these behavioral shifts may help you better understand what’s going on.
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